It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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