did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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