i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
