Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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