So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
