theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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