Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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