ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Randomize
