I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
