Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
