i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
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