You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
