He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
