Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Im just a social blackout drinker.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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