Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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