you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
