they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
