I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Randomize
