He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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