The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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