Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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