Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
