So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
