stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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