Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
