I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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