I seem to have left my pride at pride
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
