You work out of a Hotel?
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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