did you get engaged???
Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
