dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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