So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
