i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
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