i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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