Well douche your snatch and let's go!
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
