my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
