belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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