Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
