My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
