please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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