Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
