Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
He felt like a one man threesome
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Randomize
