If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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