Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
pray to the hookup gods
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