i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Michael Bay diarrhea
even my farts smell like vagina
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Randomize
