Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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