How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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