Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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