I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
