i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
