somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Randomize
