when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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